When to Seek Fertility Advice or Help

One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is: "how did you know when to seek fertility help or advice?"

My answer, sadly, is: when I was tired of waiting. 

You see, my husband and I weren't exactly trying to prevent pregnancy from the time that we got married in 2015 and it wasn't until 2017 that we "actively" started tracking ovulation and having timed intercourse. After a full year of trying naturally with no success, I knew something wasn't right and suggested that we see a doctor at the start of 2018.

The first thing my doctor said to me was- "Pregnancy tends to happen within six or so months of a couple actively trying. The fact that you've been trying for so long without any success suggests that there may be something else going on and I'd like to run some tests."

I was gutted.

Yet, somehow I knew that something had to be wrong since we had been having unprotected sex for so long without success. 

The incredibly hard pill I had to then swallow was that I was already tired of waiting. But it didn't matter because following that initial appointment, we had to wait through months of testing, months of IUIs, and more months for IVF.

From that initial appointment, it took another year and a half for me to become pregnant and to someone who had already waited years, that seemed like forever. 

So part of me wants to tell you the traditional 6 month time frame, but the other part of me urges you to make an appointment when you feel like something else could be going on. 

Now I'll be very honest- I've heard of doctors or clinics dismissing patients because they're still under that 6ish month mark of trying naturally. If this happens to you, then I encourage you to keep pushing or find a new clinic. 

Your clinic should NEVER be dismissive of your care or health concerns. They should treat your concerns with honor and offer suggestions to make a plan moving forward. Don't ever let a doctor tell you that it's "too soon" or that you're "too young." 

Push to have the tests done because it's either going to come back that everything is fine to suggest that you can continue to try naturally or it will come back to suggest that something may be off and require more testing or medication.

My question to you is this- is it worth it to you to wait? Or is it worth it to you to know?

Bottom line: follow your gut and your instincts. If you feel that something is off sooner than that 6ish month mark, I encourage you- no, I implore you- please go talk to your doctor.